Your self-defense questions answered!

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  Dear WiM,

You could have a problem and your daughter needs to take it a little more seriously. Stalking is sometimes hard to recognize and those involved will interpret the behavior as romantic, the normal pattern in a relationship, or even worse - sweet. In a nutshell, stalking is the unwanted, unasked for, repeated attempts to maintain contact with a person. These attempts can be in the form of phone calls, e-mails, drive-bys, notes, contacting friends and relatives, showing up at the workplace, and even digging through garbage to find out what the stalkee is up too. People are going so far as to illegally install a GPS device in a victim’s car to follow her movements. 

You don’t say in your letter but there are important signals to watch for in determining how bad this stalking may get. Does this guy have a violent history, a history of stalking previous relationships, a controlling personality, own a gun, poor social/family skills or won’t take ‘No’ for an answer? Things may escalate. On the reverse side, there are no signs for a ‘friendly’ stalker. They simply quit bothering you and sometimes move onto another person. Time will tell.

Check out the some anti stalking websites in our links for more information. 

  Don’t punch him as much as you’d like to! If you do you get into a whole lot of legal issues and you could end up going to jail for assault. However, there are things you can do. First of all, make sure you have some witness who will back you up in the long run. Either people who have heard him make the comments or who have been harassed themselves. Secondly, if you are part of a large restaurant or chain there may be a sexual harassment policy in place. Find out and follow the guidelines for reporting it. Thirdly, with your witness present talk to the boss. The boss should either severely reprimand this person or fire him outright. Fourth, begin to record dates, times, witnesses, and what was said to whom because you may need to establish a credible presentation of the facts later on. Fifth, if your boss does nothing report the incident to the next level either his manager, corporate headquarters or the owner of the restaurant. Document this. Lastly, if no one is doing anything to stop the harassment consider a law suit. Contact a lawyer and see what your options are. The mere threat of a lawsuit may get the owner/managers attention real quick. 

    Dear Bob,

Do you need one? Are you willing to accept the heavy responsibility of ownership? Sometimes people feel that gun ownership is the best and only way to defend oneself and this is a very bad line of thinking. A gun is nothing more then a tool in your self defense toolbox, just like alarms, chemical sprays, karate lessons or a dog. You pull out the right tool for the right job at the right time. And just like a tool you have to learn how to use such as a lathe or chainsaw, you need to learn how to use a gun. “Just point and shoot” is a lazy, even dangerous attitude that gets innocent people killed or the gun taken off of the user. Are you facing possible life and death situations or in fear of severe bodily injury? Are you in a high crime area or involved in a dangerous profession? Are you willing to take the time to look into gun buying, ownership, legal issues, safety courses, and defensive gun training? These are better questions to be asking. 

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